Gobble Fucking Gobble!

Dear America,

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Celebrate by having yourselves multiple servings of Peabs. Why, you may ask? In case you have forgotten, yours effing truly is a turkey. There isn't much of Peabs to go around (duhvs), so might I suggest sampling the D™rumstick; it's oh so thick and meaty. I also propose you try me with some gravy, because I tend to get dryer than a prepubescent lesbian getting gangbanged by four Cialis®-fueled priests. Bovs. Furthermore, your Vice-President Dr. Bill Cosby assures me that he is the best tasting cranberry sauce the world has to offer. I won't even get started on how Indira Gandhi's vaggie vag tastes like pumpkin pie. Mmmmmmmm.

Happy holidays and gobble, gobble! Mars she on your effing Barnum and Bailey, you fucking circus clowns.

XOXOXO
Peabs, President-Elect of the United States.

P.S. Don't forget to wash Peabs down with many healthy lines of blow and a good old-fashioned tossed salad. And by tossed salad, I really mean get your fucking ass eaten out by Grandma, you effing dildos! Obvs.

Peabs/Cosby: 4 More Shmears!