So Sayeth The Peabs

??????????

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Buttfucking The Tsunami And Your Effing Mommy.

Dizzee Rascal is flazzum compared to Pas/Cal's flizzum!  Bozzle!
Peabs is very disappointed in you. So is Bodney Boo.

I called out to you, my pleabs of Peabs, to assist your fearless and motherfucking (literally and figuratively) gorgeous leader in naming my tsunami disaster relief fund. And what did you do? That's right; you ignored Peabs, you selfish fucks. Sure, I may epitomize superficiality and self-absorbtion on this brilliant site, but that doesn't mean you should all try and copy yours effing truly. Granda, who could really blame you? I'm fucking perfect. I was curing cancer as a fetus when you were getting handjobs from your sister in the backalley of a White Castle in Lubbock, Texas, you fucking clit-rings. When Peabs was two years old, I was rewriting the fucking King James version of the fucking Bible; what were you doing? Oh that's right. You were getting assraped by a strap-on worn by a neutered Richard Dean Anderson on the set of "MacGuyver." She mars all over your Dana Elcars, you fucking mo-mo loving Ratzo Rizzos! Schmobvs.

So with that, I am now giving you through the long holiday weekend to come up with a name. My brosnan, Aaron Peabs, was the only one to email Peabs regarding this matter, but I want to give his pretty ass some competition - although his idea of "Save The Dirty Asians Fund" was pure genius, and lovingly ironic. Hogsviously! Also, Peabs is a little consumed at the current moment, preparing my inauguration speech, so things will be put on halt here until this Tuesday. And by consumed, I mean I'm in midst of getting a sloppy salad tossing from Sandy Duncan, who finds it necessary to sing songs from "Peter Pan" as she gargles down my ass secretions. Fucking slut! You ruined the Hogan family! Mars. Valerie forever.

Anything to add, Dr. Bill Cosby?

"Dizzee Rascal spackled my tackle box with Samantha Fox! Flazzum!"

Obvs in '05™.

6 Comments:

At 10:46 AM, Blogger Girlielockhart said...

Oh, Mr. Peabsident, that's just what I needed before going into work. You always know how to get me all emotional - by talking about some yummy salad tossing, of course.

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger The Blake said...

There are no White Castles in Texas. Zing!

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Girlielockhart said...

At risk of sounding stupid: I didn't even know what White Castle was until I moved to Missouri to go to school (I'm from Oklahoma originally). I have yet to eat at one, since they always seem to be in the creepy parts of town.

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger Isabella said...

My dear, look where you are. I think you may be ready to brave the "creepy parts of town" for a snack.

 
At 12:10 AM, Blogger Girlielockhart said...

Nah. I'm a little white kid. Little white kids don't go into the creepy parts of KC. Nuh uh. Call me chicken shit all you want to - but I'm sexy chicken shit, so I don't care.

 
At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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