So Sayeth The Peabs

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Not By My Nuts On Your Chinny-Chin-Chin!

Picture pages!
You will all Rodney Roo the fucking day you don't let Peabs honey smacks my effing D™ across your pretty face, you fatherless cockwhoring slooty-sloots! Shmear my cream cheese across your upper lip and I'll be your Einstein, bitch! Ratzo!

I was getting a mustache ride from a meth-fueled John Stossel the other night when Peabs realized that I had not seen my Vice President, Dr. Bill Cosby, in almost 48 hours. And this is rather rare considering the fact that on weeknights, Coz and yours effing truly usually spend our time secluded in a twelve million square foot bathroom made of mirrors, blowing rails of baby laxative and special K and referring to each other as different breakfast cereal personas. Believe Peabs when I say that there ain't a more euphoric feeling than having an eight-ball up every possible orifice and being called Tony The Tiger. It's grrrrrrrrrrreat! MUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Shmears, are you effing SIDS? There's at least four things that feel slightly better than that; mind you, three of four include the aforementioned cocaine and mustache ride. And that fourth... well, we'll just go ahead and let your imagination run wild, you fucking perverts. Mars she all over your effing aristocracy, King John! Call me Baron von Peabs and shove my Magna Carta up your motally moo ooh-jah boo radley roo! Obvs.
Who wants a mustache ride???
Oh wait, there's Coz! Where you been, my beautiful Black friend?

"Meeeeeee and Dizzee Rascal bozzled some mushrooooooooms and razzle dazzled Hume Cronyn's scrotum rotum! Flazzum!"

And I thought my little "fling" with Stossel was dirty! She fucking mars all over your WWF™ Superstars. Peabs is going to have to up the salad tossing quotient tenfold and then some. Or perhaps just get Coz into the mix a little more. Duhvs. Hey, Coz, I'm fearing that the site is becoming too tame, especially compared to your recent shenanigans with Dizzee Rascal. Can you maybe help Peabs out and make SSTP (dude, who fucking links to themselves? Fucking Peabs, that's who, you effing handjob.) disrespectable (??) again?

"Yooooooou've gots to know that I tosseled Stossel's falafel with a flizzum jizzum Geo Prizm!"

Rodney Roo agrees. I'm such a fucking genius. Gorgeous, too. Schmobvs.

Obvs in '05™.

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